


Tangled in your Code

by VoidLeviathan



Series: Secrets of Nym [1]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, HLVRAI OCs, Hurt/Comfort, Moving On, Other, Self-Doubt, This Gordon is an OC, fistfight me, these are ocs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:33:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29920374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidLeviathan/pseuds/VoidLeviathan
Summary: It had been a few years since the Black Mesa incident. Nym was happy, Nym had family, Nym wasn't sure he could move on from the first incident just yet. What if something went wrong? What if he lost everything again?Lucky for Nym, they have Earl.
Relationships: Earl Bishop/Gordon "Nym" Freeman
Series: Secrets of Nym [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200290





	Tangled in your Code

Nym kept an eye on the world outside the front window. They'd found a nice place to settle, Teddy, Tulmi, Earl and nymself. A little ranch out in the middle of town with chicken, geese, and a few goats here and there. As well as plenty of space for Teddy's sisters.

Nym liked to watch the hens go about their day, not a care in the world for anything else, exploring and minding their business. Nym wondered what it was like to live a life without the burden of worry that they might lose everything every day.

They took a breath, they wouldn't let them self get worked up over this. Not today.

"You're up earlier than expected mister Freeman." Nym shrugged, keeping their eye on the birds. "Not up for talking? Well thats no problem, I happen to love talking."

"Just enjoying the sun while I can, Earl." They hummed, "Frankly I'm surprised you're up before Teddy."

"Teddy actually left for the store a few hours ago, he should be back later." Nym nodded. Funny, he hadn't even heard him leave. "You hungry? Eggs, coffee, maybe?"

"Sounds nice. Maybe make extra eggs for Tulmi when they finally decide to wake up." Earl nods, instantly getting to work on coffee first. The sound of pans and pots clinking around was nice compared to the earlier silence. Helped distract Nym from the ever growing worry that something might go wrong. Anything really. One snap of the fingers and they could all be back in that lab scouring the halls for anything that might help them survive.

The more they think about it, the more their stomach turns at what they remember from their past group. 

science team. The team they loved and protected and cared so deeply for until-

"Earth to mister Freeman." Earl snapped their fingers to grab the stargazed man's attention, "You in there mister Freeman?"

"Sorry I-I...its nothing." Nym clears their throat, "I was just- what did you need again?"

"I was asking if you wanted your eggs? I finished them a few minutes ago, better hurry up and eat them before they get cold."

"Right. Thank you…" Nym took the plate, but Earl didn't budge. Instead, they took a seat across from their partner, head resting steadily on their hands. Nym knew this look as well as anyone else in their little polycule. Earl's '

' look everyone dreaded. 

"I'm f-"

"Liar. If you were fine, your eyes would be much brighter than they are now. The stars in 'em are a big tell of your emotions." Earl grinned, "I'm a scientist, remember? My job to study things."

"Yes, yes, and I'm also a scientist and 

is to keep my studies personal."

"Your studies aren't about your personal life, but the life on Xen, thus you don't have to keep what's on your mind personal."

Nym frowned, "When did you start to get so clever?"

"When I decided to date three men with several issues and realized I wanted to help them when I could. I might not know what's going on most of the time, but I can be helpful when I want to be." 

A beat of silence, and they were both laughing. Nym shaking his head, defeated. 

"Now, tell me what's on your mind, Gordon 'Nym' Freeman. Don't worry, I'm sure I can take whatever it-"

"I'm...worried? Worried I'm going to lose everything." 

"Lose...everything?" Earl tilted their head.

"Yeah- yes. Yep. You know how I told you back in Black Mesa that I had a group of friends? How I uh- how I lost them a-and everything else pretty much?"

"Of course! Was the first time you even opened up to any of us. Before then, we didn't know much about you. You said your friend Benrey really busted up the game and fried everything so only you were left. Are you afraid that might happen with Tulmi?"

Were they? Not really. Nym doesn't think thats what they're afraid of. No, besides, they know the truth. They just weren't sure how to get it out.

"Tulmi...he wouldn't do that. I trust Tulmi, they're my partner after all, 

partner. I'm more afraid that I might mess something up." Nym bit their lip, eyes refusing to meet Earl's and instead drifting to the hens outside, "What if 

messed it all up? What if I was the one who ruined the game the first time around? Corrupted everything and just- and I- what if wasn't just Benrey's fault, Earl?"

"Then you move on. Things happen for a reason, don't they? You told Tulmi that."

"I told Tulmi that to help him relax after he tried to break my nose." Nym sighed, "I'm- I just- I don't know how to move on, Earl. I can't even sit here and watch our chicken eat without thinking something might go wrong."

"Well have you tried not thinking about it?"

"Plenty of times."

"Then maybe thinking about it is just a step to moving on and accepting things for how they are now." Earl shrugged, "I know its hard, I haven't even gotten done processing everything that happened with us, but you can't keep holding everything against yourself, you know?"

"I know but I just…"

"Just what?" 

"I don't know! I'm 

! Do you have any idea what its like to suddenly have that feeling of being free for once and still have the looming guilt that one day its going to slip from your fingers?" Nym snapped. 

They didn't mean to, the second they noticed Earl jump they lowered their voice, attempting to make them self look smaller. The sweet-voice slipping from their lips told of their nervousness, they couldn't help letting it escape.

"Sorry I-I just...I don't...sorry…"

Earl felt bad. They couldn't joke their way out of this one, not when Nym looked seconds away from crumbling to the floor. They tried to think of anything, but in truth, not even they were sure what Nym fully went through in their 'life' before this one other than he'd lost everything. They sighed, carefully taking Nym's hands into their own and squeezing them gently to help ground Nym. It seemed to help, at least the sweet-voice stopped flowing as quickly as it was.

"Mister F...Nym. Nym my love, look at me? Please?" Nym did as asked. It was slow, clearly they were struggling, but they looked to their partner eventually. "Take a breath okay? Got yourself so worked up over this whole thing, you haven't even eaten your eggs!"

"I don't want eggs, Earl."

"Then I'll feed what's leftover to Teddy when he gets home and 

can go on a nice walk around the farm before Tulmi wakes up and stop thinking about this whole-"

"I can't stop thinking about it." Nym snips, "I can't stop thinking about any of it! My science team died because of me! Coomer, Bubby, Tommy, Benrey and...just...all of them! They all died! And for what? What did they die for? I can't even see my own son anymore Earl! I- I hardly even know who I am without any of them...if I had just gone through with the game! If I had just...I don't know! Helped? Saved them? Done what I was supposed to do?"

"Have you thought maybe they sacrificed themselves to keep you here?" Earl asked, squeezing Nym's hands again, "Like think about it. You couldn't use sweet-voice before right? Or travel around the void so freely? You're certainly stronger than you used to be, more clever, patient. Not who you were then, but a better person now. From what you've told me, these are all traits from your friends as well."

"Earl none of what you're saying makes sense."

The scientist groaned. Why were all their partners so dense in their times of need? Were the others like this too? They don't remember this kinda thing from Billie, Marisol, or Key. Didn't know nearly enough about Orphelin, but it was easy to tell he probably acted this way too. They huffed, standing up and placing their hands on Nym's shoulders, shaking them enough to give them a small startle.

"Listen to me! Their code is 

. You can sweet-voice? Benrey. You can walk through time and space, see things differently than others? Tommy and G. You're stronger than you used to be, can burn things on command? Coomer and Bubby. And you're an 

mixologist you know where that came from?"

"Darnold." Nym whispers.

"Their code is in you, Nym. Its with you always and it will stay a part of you so long as you don't forget what you had. Yes, I know, what happened was awful. You should never have gone through that whole situation, especially alone and without your full memory, but you're here now. You're here and with us and you have an 

life now thanks to their sacrifice in giving you your second chance. They wanted you to have this, and they live on within you. 

understand that it won't heal right away, it might never heal completely at all, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't give yourself the chance to at least try and slowly let it heal over time."

"...Thanks."

"Your welcome." Earl responds, dropping their hands from their partners shoulders and taking their place back in the seat across from them. "Now eat your eggs or I'll actually feed them to Teddy."

"Anything for you my love." Nym chuckled. They weren't okay, their sweet-voice still escaping their mouth now and then as they finally ate, but they felt better. At ease with the thought that their family was always with them they felt more at ease than they had when they woke this morning. 

They needed to cut them self some slack, they wouldn't mess up again, not like before, they'd keep this family protected and safe. This was a promise Nym wouldn't break, not after what they'd all gone through together to get here. They loved their family, old and new, and they'd never stop loving them for long as they lived.

**Author's Note:**

> Fics dedicated to my beloveds and my RP group who knows next to nothing about Nym :]


End file.
